Thursday, April 11, 2013

Yoga Class Inner Monologue

Great. I'm five minutes late so the only open spot is front and center.

Breathe in, breathe out. Make sure to count and make your breaths even. 

Stretch and bend. Am I doing this right? Better sneak a glance at the person next to me without breaking my pose.

The teacher is correcting me a lot. This is why I hate the front row. I'm leaving work early next week.

Oh hell no. I will not be that person who farts in yoga class. 

Seriously? I can't bend like that. Especially not while holding back gas.

Control your breathing! Focus!

I thought yoga was supposed to be relaxing. Why am I so sweaty?

Ok, we're at the end of class where we lie down and close our eyes. We're supposed to meditate, but I will use this time to plan the rest of my night and stress about work tomorrow. At least I don't have to fart anymore.

This music is really soothing. My mind is clearing. I feel connected with the floor and world around me. So peaceful... zzzz...

"Namaste. Thank you for coming."

Dammit.

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