The female human is asleep. She was up late, and is probably very tired. I'd better jump up on her dresser and knock items off, one at a time, until she wakes up. I am hungry.
7:42 AM
The female human threw a pillow at me and went back to sleep. I am still hungry, so I need a new plan.
7:44:59 AM
I am sitting on top of the female human. When she wakes up, I will be the first thing she sees. She will know then how hungry I am. Even the Calico Idiot has caught wise and is joining me in this effort.
7:45 AM
The female human's alarm clock has sounded, and I've been thrown from the bed as she rolled over to hit the snooze button. Surely if I sit here and tell her how hungry I am, repeatedly, she will realize it's time to feed me.
7:54 AM
The female human's alarm clock has sounded a second time, and my voice is hoarse from explaining how hungry I am for the last nine minutes. I tried increasing the volume of my voice and the speed in which I talk to get her attention, but it didn't work.
7:55 AM
The female human is checking her phone. I don't understand how Facebook can be the most important thing on the agenda right now. I am hungry, and despite sounding repetitive, continue to let her know.
7:58 AM
Finally, the female human has arisen from bed! I will walk directly in front of her feet and cheer her every step so she knows how appreciative I am that she's about to feed me.
8:00 AM
Finally, sweet breakfast.
8:00:30 AM
I'm full.
8:01 AM
I have assumed my regular position on the couch, where I will remain until dinnertime.
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| I am Lenny. |
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